The Names We Use
by mmerainbows
Summary: Oneshot, futurefic. Blaine comes home from his part time job with the boys and girls club. He's upset about a zoo outing and after Kurt inquires, finds out that it's because of something said back during their Dalton days.


Kurt heard the door slam and his head shot up from where he was reading the latest issue of vogue on the couch. Blaine was grumbling to himself as he put away his coat and shoes, getting back from work this Saturday.

"What's wrong Blaine?" Kurt asked, setting the magazine face down on the coffee table to save his page spot. He moved to stand up and then Blaine shook his head as he came towards Kurt and flopped down beside him on the couch.

"It's your fault you know." Blaine grumbled, folding his arms over his chest as he began sulking, making Kurt quirk up an eyebrow in confusion. "Stupid zoo trip."

Blaine worked part-time at the boys and girls club in the area, and today they had gone on a trip to the zoo. Normally he was all smiles and energy when he returned home from working with the kids all day, so this response was quite unusual.

"What on earth are you talking about sweetheart?" Kurt queried, sitting back against the armrest of the couch and looking towards Blaine.

"The penguins!" Blaine finally said with exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air as he looked towards Kurt. "I can't deal with the penguins!"

Kurt chuckled softly, "What on earth does your odd penguin phobia have to do with me?"

Blaine turned fully towards Kurt and scooted himself closer to him, "Remember when we were back in Dalton and you said you had as much sex appeal as a baby penguin...?"

Kurt thought back to those days, smiling as he did, recalling how naive and innocent he had been then. "Yes..."

"Well now whenever I see a penguin I think about you and your sex appeal... so being around them has an... adverse effect on me." Blaine blushed as he said it and turned his head away in shame.

Both Kurt's eyebrows went up at that admission and he threw his head back to laugh.

"It's not funny! I'm around a bunch of kids and I get all excited and can't do anything to deal with it!" Blaine argued, eyes wide and serious as he looked to Kurt.

Kurt calmed himself, though a sly smile stayed on his lips, "I'm sorry sweetheart... I just... think it's funny that something I said back when I was a lot less... experienced in that area, would turn on you like that."

Blaine sighed and nodded in agreement, "Well tell me about it. I had to keep the attendance file held in front of my pants until we got to the reptiles and I forced myself to watch a snake eat a mouse to get rid of it."

Kurt chuckled again and Blaine looked back at him unamused. Kurt thought about what he could say to make amends when another memory came to him.

"Well at least you were never compared to Betty White."

Blaine took the opportunity now to lift an eyebrow, "Who...?"

"Sebastian. Remember? He called me old Betty White... as if there was any other kind when he said it."

Blaine laughed and nodded, "Right. Comparatively he referred to me as Sex on a Stick."

Kurt felt a small twinge of leftover jealousy from those days before murmuring softly, "Little did he know that the only stick you have sex with is mine."

Blaine turned bright red and Kurt leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek, "I love that color on your cheeks."

Blaine smiled back to Kurt and then tilted his head a little, "You know, now that I think about it, I've been called a lot of names that have to do with celebrities..."

"Like what?"

Blaine looked upward and began listing them off, "Well... Coach Sylvester called me a Gay Clark Kent, and a Young Burt Reynolds, Sam called me Orville Redenbacher, Coach Washington called me Fruity Fonzie, and you've called me both Borat and Billy Crystal."

"None of those are accurate at all. You're more of a sexier version of Taylor Lautner mixed with Matt Bomer." Kurt winked, making Blaine's cheeks flame with blush again.

"Coach Sylvester always had a lot of names for me..." Kurt added, "Twinkie Tush was probably the most amusing."

Blaine laughed at that and nudged Kurt's hips with his hands, "Turn over. I want to see what a twinkie tush looks like."

Blaine smiled and grabbed Kurt's hands in his own, "Better a twinkie tush than a broccolihead."

Kurt laughed again, "I forgot that Brittany called you that at prom! Oh wow. The worst I got from Brit was Happy Unicorn."

Blaine rolled his eyes, "Yes, and then there were all the names her girlfriend has called us over the years..."

"Prancy Smurf..." Kurt suggested.

"Pretty Pony." Blaine continued.

"Richard Simmons." Kurt continued.

"Well she was at least accurate about that one. Though I do enjoy it when you have those red short shorts on." Blaine winked.

Kurt laughed and rubbed his fingers against the backs of Blaine's hand, "What the best thing you've been called?"

Blaine shrugged a little, "Just... Honey. By you."

"Well that's romantically sappy." Kurt smiled.

"What about you?" Blaine asked.

"Well I've always liked how you referred to me as the most interesting kid in Ohio, though that's not really much to brag about. It's like being called the least stinky monkey in the jungle. I think my favourite would have to be... the love of your life."

Blaine smiled warmly and leaned his face towards Kurt's, inches away, "And you called me sappy."

"I did." Kurt said and then closed the gap and crashed his lips against Blaine's.


End file.
